It was the final event of a week-long incredible journey as part of the Shamanic Sexual Experience with the School of Temple Arts: a re-birthing ceremony. I was surrounded by the women of my ‘pod’; me at the centre of a circle, ready for my birth. 

“What type of womb do you want?” they asked.  How wonderful, I get to choose my womb!   “I want it dark, as dark as possible.  I want to birth all of me, from the deepest depths of my shadows and bring it all into the light.  I want it to be the darkest hell.  I am going to birth it all, bring it all with me in love.” 

They tied a black blindfold tightly around my eyes, and began to push and pull at me forcefully.  I struggled to get free, using my power and my will.  The fight only intensified.  I was getting nowhere.  I stopped.  I surrendered to hell.

The energy of the womb immediately softened.  I felt the Kundalini life force energy rising into me from the earth, orgasmic and ecstatic, and I started to enjoy the birthing process.  It had moved quickly from struggle to ecstasy and bliss.  I reflected later, that this is how birthing a child could be when we let go of resistance to pain and allow it to support the process. 

As I surrendered, I partly and effortlessly half fell out of the womb.  But things weren’t quite complete.  There were still some fingers clawing at me, holding onto me with a reluctance to let go.  I resolved not to fight at all, but to hold the energy of love and wait until these beings were ready to release me.  I waited, and slowly and gently they fell away. 

I was then free to be birthed fully, and my body fell out of the womb.  As I emerged, I stood up.  Kundalini energy surged through my body, shaking it from root to tip in an orgasmic riot of affirming life.  I had arrived.  And now, I knew how to get out of hell.