What is it to live life without resistance?


Art by Anja

It is to be in the moment, where space is made for all those warring parts of you; for the parts that you like and that you don’t like; for the voices you want to hear and the ones that you don’t.

It is to say to each, “Welcome friends.  Let us breathe together.  None of you need be in fear of not being heard.  We will find a way for all of us to be together.”  And then you listen to each voice and the possible conflicting needs of each.  As they are heard, they begin to relax.  There is no need to use force here.  There is no rushing or closing of space.  Time expands, and there is room for all of us.

You are now in the womb space, the creative vortex where you allow the magic to happen.  In the softening, hearing and holding of Self, clarity arises and confusion ends.  You are able to move forward peacefully and clearly in the direction that becomes apparent and obvious.  This is the power of presence.  This is life’s way of guiding us from the collective into the singular or unity consciousness.  How else are we to find peace on earth?  It can only begin within.

To find unity within the collective, the only way is to be guided by our inner voices and desires.  Most of the time we react out of fear or conditioned responses from the past or what we think we ‘should’ be doing, but the result of this is usually unsatisfactory: someone’s needs aren’t met, someone or some part of you is disconnected and the consequence of this is a diminishing of love and peace available to the whole.

Let me give you an example of this in my own life:  On Sunday, I had planned to meet up with a friend and her daughter.  Although I knew I really wanted to meet up with this friend, there was also a part of me that also wanted to stay at home that day.  I ignored this voice.  I did not make space to listen to it or its needs.  In doing so, I ignored the guidance life was trying to give me and was, unconsciously, in a place of forcing my way through to make what I thought needed to happen, happen.

And when you don’t listen, life usually give you another sign post.  Yes, sign post after sign post, one stronger that the other, until you literally have to be smacked in the face with a big painful one to actually stop and make space for that part that was never heard to begin with.

It began with my son, not being able to get a friend to come along and refusing to go.  Instead of pausing and making space to hear his needs and receive clarity before moving forward, I again chose force; this time, out of fear that my plans would be scuppered by this wayward boy.  “You have to go.  You don’t have a choice.  There is no one here to look after you.”  So into the car, and the resistance continued  He found reason after reason why he shouldn’t be going and how awful the day was going to be.  Did I stop?  No.  On I went.  This was happening, despite all the resistance life was bringing up.

Did the day get worse?  Of course.  First an argument over where to set up our picnic.  We navigated that one.  Then increasing tension between the friend’s young daughter and my son, as he began to find fault after fault with her and tried to sideline her from playing with his sister.  She was notably hurt again and again.  And then the crescendo at the end of the day.  A show down between the mum and my son. “I will not allow you to be rude,” she demanded of him.  “Why don’t you just leave me alone,” he retorted, followed by increasingly ‘rude’ and hurtful comments.

Did I stop?  Yes, finally.  This was just so awful.  None of us were having fun.  I realised that it was time to stop the resistance and to go home.  In doing so, I managed to connect with myself and my feelings enough to not completely cause my son to disconnect.  I was, however, still blaming him for the shambles of a day.  “I just wanted to meet with my friend.  Why couldn’t you support that?  I do so much for you.  Why do you always ruin things that are important for me….?”

What happened?  Why had this day turned out to be so bad?  When I stopped and made space for it, I realised that it was not my son’s fault.  In fact, I traced it right back to that first thought that flashed through my mind that actually, part of me wanted to stay home.  The little voice I had ignored.  Perhaps staying at home that day, was exactly what we all needed, including my friend and her daughter.  I will never know, because I did not make space to listen.

The lesson in this for me is to slow down.  To be conscious of all that is arising in me.  To give it space.  If I am connected, I am far more likely to have connected children and to be creating an environment of peace in my home.  And of course, I need to embrace the part of me that sometimes forgets to do this; that finds itself in chaos and war.  For I know that it is never too late, at any moment, to stop,  check in, and allow the guiding hand of least resistance to show me the way.